Throughout the entire quarter it was pounded into our heads to avoid excessive use of the “I” voice, because it greatly weakens the strength of voice in your paper. The first essay we wrote was a compare and contrast essay. I chose to persuade my reader that the Twilight novel was better than the “Twilight” film. I felt very strongly about this subject but realize that I abused the “I” voice in my paper a little to much. Heres an example of my abuse of the "i" voice in my first draft,"Through my countless efforts to enjoy the Twilight Movie as much as I enjoyed the book I have come to the conclusion that I enjoyed the book undoubtedly more. " Looking back at the assignment it has become apparent to me just how unknowledgeable I sounded when I used the “I” voice excessively. I chose the this essay because it demonstrates my growth in minimal use of the “I” voice. Here is my revised example " Although through countless efforts to enjoy the Twilight movie as much as the book, I have concluded I enjoy the book undoubtedly more." This revision makes my voice in my paper sound more intelligent.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have to completely agree with the use of I and You, it was one of my downfalls when it comes to writing...and still is.
ReplyDelete